My light, my bff
Last week, right before Christmas, I was going to write about my little light. Through my darkness, depression and all the chaos, she is a light. For two hours each week, we can drink beer and giggle about things that aren't funny to anyone else. It's a refreshing reprieve, and I need it. But last week, that light disappeared. I mistakenly thought she was caught up in a sort of holiday-inspired heaven with her boyfriend. I cried, thinking she wasn't there for me anymore, and i'd lost her to her boyfriend. Fuck me for introducing them--I needed her! He's also my friend, so I found out that she was actually lost in a sort of holiday-inspired depression and not talking to anyone. I should've known, dammit.
Now it seems he broke up with her. WTF. He regrets it, she's pissed, and i'm in the middle. Why? Well, because they put me there, and I KEEP myself there, on account of the angel wings I have tattooed on my back.
No, no, this isn't a post to toot my own horn about being a good friend. It's about stopping in the midst of helping and taking care of yourself. In tears over THEIR situation, worried about my bff 'cause she wouldn't talk and nursing her bf out of his drunken suicidality, I lost myself. I spent hours today so stressed out, I couldn't think straight, cursing every time my phone beeped with another message. How did it end? ...Quite anticlimactically, with my anti-depressants kicking in. I took a step back, read a bit of a novel and took a nap, praying he wouldn't really hurt himself (he's really not like that anyway and has been through worse).
Now, hours later, she's finally talking, and my husband is stopping at his house to check on him. And that's what we do. The angel wings are heavy, but they'll never go away. The world honestly needs more people like us, but we also need to learn to take a step back.
And now my friends have hashed it out. They're working on their relationship, and my bill is in the mail. He says he owes me a big bottle of Moscato. I'm thinking dinner. What do you think? Pass the Moscato....
Now it seems he broke up with her. WTF. He regrets it, she's pissed, and i'm in the middle. Why? Well, because they put me there, and I KEEP myself there, on account of the angel wings I have tattooed on my back.
No, no, this isn't a post to toot my own horn about being a good friend. It's about stopping in the midst of helping and taking care of yourself. In tears over THEIR situation, worried about my bff 'cause she wouldn't talk and nursing her bf out of his drunken suicidality, I lost myself. I spent hours today so stressed out, I couldn't think straight, cursing every time my phone beeped with another message. How did it end? ...Quite anticlimactically, with my anti-depressants kicking in. I took a step back, read a bit of a novel and took a nap, praying he wouldn't really hurt himself (he's really not like that anyway and has been through worse).
Now, hours later, she's finally talking, and my husband is stopping at his house to check on him. And that's what we do. The angel wings are heavy, but they'll never go away. The world honestly needs more people like us, but we also need to learn to take a step back.
And now my friends have hashed it out. They're working on their relationship, and my bill is in the mail. He says he owes me a big bottle of Moscato. I'm thinking dinner. What do you think? Pass the Moscato....
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